Of all my travels around the world and romantic encounters that I’ve experienced in each place over the past year, I can say that my most significant crush was one who I came across in my home city of Washington, DC, basically one year ago.
There’s the old saying that “love happens when you’re least expecting” and by no means do I call this love but this interest or crush developed exactly when I was least expecting it.
We met and began a friendship that I never expected or even hoped to turn into anything more, as I was moving to Spain in a couple of months, and I was determined to not be involved with anyone in DC to hold me back. With each time we got together, it felt every so slightly more than friendship, closing down my favorite restaurant, Pearl Dive, and enjoying our conversation for hours, yet neither of us ever making a move.
So as I was preparing to pack up my belongings and ship them across the ocean I started to wonder if there could be something more with this friend, and actually began to be attracted to him just thinking of the possibilities. Yet being a bit realistic in relationships, I would always dismiss these thoughts as the reality was that I was moving to Barcelona in less than a month, and who knows, he could just be a really easy to get along with person.
If you’re a regular reader of Jetsetter Gypsy, I’m sure it doesn’t surprise you to know that I’d done nothing to truly show my interest beyond friendship, as I’m a mix of oblivious and old fashioned when it comes to sensing a guy’s interest. Of course with there being no clarity on this situation and only a few days left to go in The States, I decide after many vodka sodas on a crazy night out at the club Opera to make my move, or at least be the most direct as I possibly could.
While on the dance floor partially dancing in our group of friends then at times breaking off with one gorgeous guy who had made his way across the room, there began to be an occasional and ever so subtle cutting in of my friend. This could absolutely be seen as one friend looking out for another, but at that point, I had enough liquid confidence to clarify this situation once and for all. So, after the third attempt of cutting in, I stepped away from the hot stranger and looked my friend in the eyes and stated quite forcefully “If you don’t want me dancing with him, then do something about it!” Immediately he took my hand and guided me to the other side of the dance floor, where we danced for a while just us until it was time to head out. I thought that was my answer that I needed, but really, it was just a tease of some sort, or maybe just a drunken misunderstanding under the loud music of the dance floor, as nothing, Absolutely Nothing! happened later. STRIKE ONE!
So, I left Washington, DC a few days later, traveling through Europe, having crazy adventures around every corner, but also still thinking of my friend and still interested, although trying all the while not to be.
A few days prior to returning to DC for the holidays, having already made plans to get together and catch up with this friend, I decided that I had to come clean. Having just gone through the devastating loss of a dear friend, one who always wore her heart on her sleeve, I had to do it for her.
As we met for dinner one evening at Zentan, my thoughts were a bit scattered as to how I could suggest my interest in something more, yet not ruin the friendship. My mind at that moment was also slightly occupied with the conversation I had minutes prior to walking out the door, with a certain friend / love interest half way around the world, probably the only one left who I had not cut ties with. In the end, I did not have my game face on and I could only hear the voice of my one girlfriend who recommended against my saying anything, due to a bit of an insider position she held. The dinner was great time spent together as always, and in the end, we left as friends. Nothing said, nothing hinted, nothing more! STRIKE TWO!
By the time April came around and I was back in town for a couple of weeks visiting family and friends, the interest still existed, but the time in between and the others who I had met along the way did take a toll on my focus. It was more back to the hang out as friends mentality, even when going out just us and having a fantastic time together at Graffiato, I just couldn’t bring myself to making any waves. Were there possible feelings still there, of course on my end, and I would have been willing to explore other options had they been presented, but no move was made and the friendship status was sealed. STRIKE THREE! I’M OUT!
Now as it’s August, and I’m heading back to DC in a couple of weeks, I’m finally in a position where I can write about this “could have been romance” in an omniscient perspective.
My one logo in life is that “everything happens for a reason”, so I believe that we’re meant to be friends, and I’m cool with that, as that’s all I was expecting from the beginning. After all, good, fun friends in adult life are hard to come by.
One thing I can guarantee to accomplish by writing this article, is that it will put a smile on the faces of my parents and their minds at ease that Yes, there is a chance that I could have interest in American guys after all…and not just international ones.